I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
