Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize