Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
