i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Someone signed my nipple.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
