I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
