How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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