The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
