She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize