It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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