I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
