Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
