And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
