lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
