I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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