Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
