they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize