Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
