Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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