We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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