...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
