Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
