some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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