Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
