i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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