I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
50% drunk capacity currently
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
