It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
