Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
