"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
