If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
