Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
