Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
