We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
