He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize