You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
