we have pet lesbian snakes
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
