Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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