my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
