Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
