We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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