My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
