u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
