Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
