i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize