What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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