hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
