Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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