I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
