i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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