I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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