one two three fourrrrnication!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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