Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
