Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
