I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think my moral compass just broke
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
