Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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