: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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