Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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