Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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