Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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